Resist the Change! aka Reformulations SUCK

If you'll allow me to moan for a minute....I really must complain about Rouge Dior lipsticks.

I don't know whether this is justified, perhaps they spoilt me with the incredible, luxe "Haute Couleur" (sp?) version of the Rouge Diors. Now THOSE...those were the business. The best lipstick formula, for my taste. The lipstick by which I judged all other lipsticks.

(Volumizing because it hydrated the lips SO so well, almost a treatment rather than a cosmetic. Long-lasting, rich satin-y colour in one swipe. I sound like an ad, I don't know how else to explain it though.)

I love them all but had a Holy Grail in that line, 976, "Prune Daisy," although I slipped and call it "Plum Daisy" whenever anyone asked me what that AMAZING lipstick I had on was. Glorious, luscious, plummy-rosy-amazement, is how I would describe it.
A seemingly cool colour, but with miniscule flecks of gold that meant it could swing either way.
This microshimmer, twas very discernible from Granny Frost.
It looked more like plush satin. The most distinguished, rich, invigorating colour against the backdrop of bleak winter.

People often wear red in winter, but this was less predictable and somehow more wearable. Literally swipe and go, despite the depth of colour.
It made me feel like an evil Narnian witch, alerting bunny rabbits and beavers everywhere: "Don't dare tempt this woman to transform you into an ice statue, with which to festoon her marble halls" etc.

I remember any time I felt really down, Vit D deficient probably, I would "pull myself together" and put it on.
 Literally, that number, 976, was embedded in my memory, in case the day would ever come when I would have to replace it. As it has.

The packaging has changed, cheapened to be clear. This makes me sad. Some would say not to judge by its packaging, but alas, in this case, it is an indicator of worse to come...

The formula has been messed with.

Is nothing sacred? It does not glide on smoothly as before. Therefore, does not apply AS evenly, it is a bit patchy in coverage, you have to go over it more than once.

 It does not moisturize as before. Not as rich/nourishing in texture.
Lips feel parched and crinkly after a while, it dries them out considerably, something the old version wouldn't dream of doing.

It is not even long-wearing, it fades perceptibly from the center right away, a fatal flaw, considering the depth of colour.

To be fair, it is quite a good lipstick in its own right. The colour is still beautiful, although I will point out that the microshimmer does not sit as well in this formula. There is no sort of moisturizing, richness, to soften the shimmer. I still wear it. I just need to be very careful, whereas before I could pop it on, and be assured it would look good for ages without a do-over. To be fair, Revlon Pink Truffle layered underneath, makes it close in wear time and feel to the old formula, so I guess I'll stick with that.

Sigh.

Moving on. The pathetic Rouge Dior "lip blushes." C'mon, the name itself is so..."we're trying to make the most of something that sucks, and hope you fall for it." A conman's dream.

 I own two, Trench and Grege 1947 (Pak sar zameen shad baad... watan ki mitti gawah rehnaaaaa..etc. I kid, I realize Dior doesn't care about Pakistan's independence day and the number is a coincidence...)

Trench is a cute peachy-beige shade, the closest match I could find to my beloved Anna Sui 701. It applies sheerly, so my pigmented lip colour shows through. Thus, tis darker on the lips than the Anna Sui, which is fine, variety being the cinnamon bun of life.

However! It lasts about as long as it takes to tell a bad joke, and flees at the punchline! 'ello? Ou est vous?

As for Grege...I despise this so much. I REALLY REALLY wanted to like it. But bare lips are preferable to this.

Not too moisturizing; adequate but not even close to, say, my Clinique Superbalm Gloss (which seems to truly heal lips within an hour). I feel my lips drying out beneath the layer of matte-looking grease that this imparts.

 If you apply once it looks exactly the same as any cheap tinted lip balm in a similar shade may. (I swear, the Essence lipsticks, which cost 2.99 at Shoppers Drug Mart, are the same formula, and just a pinch less pigmented. In fact, the shade All About Cupcake makes a great dupe for Rouge Dior in Swan.)

If you build it up, say one or two more swipes-it gets this slippy slidey thing going on where the lips have this gross imprint of when you press them together.
Even inexpensive lip products seldom have this problem. The Revlon lip butters certainly don't.

The colour is the EPITOME of blergh. I honestly cannot imagine recommending this shade to anybody. It is...ugly. Try-too-hard neutral that just sucks the life out of my natural lip colour showing through. Perhaps in a different formula it would've fared better, less sheer, perhaps. This just looks like I am trying to hard to be work appropriate. It is ugly. Looks CHEAP.

  Luckily, then, wear time is 1.5 hours if you do not engage in any sort of activity, conversational even, but just sit in a little cubicle typing out Mr Howard's bills all day. It was made for the loneliest office worker alive. As long as they don't exceed their permitted quota of four smiles. (Five on Valentine's).
 

Blood tests

Eid was awesome. Besides the blood test bit.

I don't understand what it is about blood tests for babies. My son has low weight for his age and height, so we often have to take him for testing. Every single time, bar one, we have had to get it done, the execution is exceptionally horrid. (Or unexceptionally. It's startling when they get it right).

Yesterday, we took him to the Sick Kids hospital. 

Blood test consisted of lady poking him with a needle, pushing it in, blood coming out like hardened treacle, and Not Going Into the Vial. 

So for what seemed like a century, the lady is standing there trying her utmost not to curse, stressed face. Meanwhile I'm holding the wailing, desperately frightened baby down, and hubby is holding his phone above baby's head, playing a Wiggles episode to distract him. (Run on sentence, but mid-rant I can't be bothered to edit.)

We were Five Minutes in before the lady asked me to push the red help button. 

I know the timing for a fact, mayhaps off by a minute and several seconds, because this Wiggles episode is on youtube, called counting, and we were nearing the end of the Captain Feathersword song, which is at the five min mark.

Second lady comes in, tells first one she had the needle in wrong spot (all the while baby is going purple and screaming in pain/fright). I also noticed she had to readjust the tube (the little wire thingy was on wrong!!). Reinserts to correct spot. Blood fills the tube. Baby crying. 

Second lady tells me to hold tissue down on a specific spot on baby's arm, which I do. She moves away. I am holding it where she had put it.

 Baby crying. Several minutes of me trying in vain to sing songs and soothe him. No movement of tissue aside from holding it down.

Turns out the lady had put the tissue paper in the WRONG SPOT and blood was still spurting onto the table!! Streams. Hubby swears. 

Second lady in an attempt to protect her job, we later decided, berated ME for 'not pressing it down' (which I assure you I did-not my fault she put it in wrong spot!) while I wash baby and myself off. Neither of them put a band aid on him, helped us in any way, nothing. 

Blood also got onto my coat so I have proof.

Incompetent staff? Inadequate training? 

Have been to Life Labs previous times, and had a lady take several vials before deciding she hadn't done the job correctly and needed to take several more. Eight total. (Remember, we are talking about a little baby, who doesn't realize what is happening, or why, only that it hurts and feels wrong. For many adults, even getting one vial is a big deal)

Many more incidents to recount.

Devilish Products and HOW TO MAKE THEM WORK

Fyrinnae as a brand is cool, their loose eyeshadows are my brownies (was going to say drug but brownies are more desirable, n'est-ce pas?).

I may do a further write-up, long overdue, explaining why I am so enamoured with their products. AKA: why, if I had a goat, I would be furious at it, if it swallowed any part my Fyrinnae collection, mistaking it for a can of nails. (Goats don't have the BEST eyesight). Why there is so much ado about them on a certain guilty, geeky pleasure of mine, MakeupAlley (checkittttt)... I can say with full confidence that you can, almost blindly, purchase any three products off their website, and be pleased with them. The price isn't half bad, either.

However.
This post is concentrating on the SOLE failure in their extensive range of eyeshadows. Every brand has them, Fyrinnae only has one....Mephisto! Imagine a gathering storm, a thunderbolt!

I'm sure you have items like this. Products that cause a veritable mutiny against your face, so that suddenly NOTHING looks right...

In this case, my defence is: the swatches compelled me!

Online, swiped on many an arm, it photographs beautifully... Like crushed velvet, the perfect marriageof purple/burgundy. It hit my aesthetic sweet spot. However, I had a rough dozen rounds with it, perhaps more...and didn't fare well.

Mephisto would come out triumphant each time, glowering red eyes raised to the heavens, as it beat its chest, roaring. Then it would return its pitiless gaze to me--handing over a pocket mirror, it would sneer as I, aghast, scrutinized the damage.

Patted on, with or without base, the glitter particles that lend it that lovely complexity, apply and fade off unevenly. It looks patchy. It blends out to an unattractive dark, purplish grey. It makes me look as though I had a rather unpleasant evening at a shoddy restaurant. ("you want a sand'ich? I'll give you a sand'ich! Here...have a mouthful of KNUCKLE!").

However, I decided I would damn well MAKE it work, or perish in the process! So, taking my tube of DuWop Lip Venom, nicely transparent, I mixed in the offending eyeshadow. I now have a perfect dark, extremely pigmented, lipgloss. Which I have been complimented on many times, many a day.

Here is a FOTD from, ohh, ages ago.

Eyes: Fyrinnae Polar Bear, Meerkat, THE MEREST HINT OF MEPHISTO (promptly blotted out with other shades of Maybelline Designer Chocolate and a cranberry from Cargo)

Lips: Mephisto mixed into a tube of clear gloss.

Might add that this was taken a few hours after application, and yes, the franken-gloss lasted through tea.

So: HOW TO SALVAGE COSMETICS - a few ideas:
-If a reasonable colour, try it as a brow product (as I have done in above pic with the brown shade in the Maybelline palette)

-If a pigment or eyeshadow, mix it into gloss, clear or not. (The eyeshadow can be crushed and mixed in, or patted on top)/ or pat on top of lip liner

-If a mascara, try dipping an eyeliner brush into the tube and using as liner. Often this can make for a very long-lasting liquid liner.

-Mix into nailpolish.

-Speaking of nailpolish, you can use it to freakin' DECORATE STUFF. That's what I did a couple of years ago, with my iphone case, a black bland thing. I decorated solely with eyeshadow pigments mixed into clear nailpolish, and a broken necklace.

-If an unflattering eyeshadow, it may make for a highlight/blush (depending on the colour). This is how I use MAC expensive pink. People without babies, may dispense with their free time by going to the extent of crushing said eyeshadow, mixing it into Strobe Lotion or what have you, and creating a liquid cheek colour! Whoo! Exhausts me just thinkin' bout it...

-Melt 2 lip products into one, for a new, more flattering colour (see my lip palette post for instructions)

-Or, the lip product can function as a cream blush (go easy). This is the only way I use my Revlon Suede lipsticks now, they did a number on my poor, unsuspecting lips, rendering them parched as a peach stone. In fact, drying lip products are perfect for cream blush, because once blended out, they last so so well!

-If a lipliner, use it with a balm, blot, et voila: lips...stained.

-If a foundation or concealer that's too matte/cakey, use it with a serum or lotion. (Estee Lauder's Advanced Night Repair has never done anything for my skin, but it works well to dew-ify any foundation!)

-Or just take the WHOLE LOT of unusable, devilish makeup, and use it to create a BIIIIG work of art (GO CRAZY), before discarding. AT LEAST YOU GOT -some- USE OUT OF IT! (I have done this as a teenager many times....and regret NOTHING).


Ok. That was a marathon, wasn't it. Well.

A motorcycle's going off, my husband. Excuse me as i follow suit...
Snooze or you'll lose.