Troubling News

I don't know how to start this besides saying, I didn't know there used to be a comedy show called The Fast Show.

 I found it on youtube after swiping the iPad from Tiniest of Tots (who is truly a tech wiz by now). Well, it's like, uh, real funny and multi-faceted, and, like, I think more people should watch it and know of it and stuff.

The Ted/Ralph sketches are particularly clever. Poignant, is the word. So is genius, sweet, well-executed. Here's the link.

Not in a very playful/writer-y mood today, to your relief, no doubt.

'Tis a blustery, autumn day--mists of rain, grey sky. Canapoo be beauteous indeed, even in such weather.

Some Troubles have taken over our lives. Little Love is having health issues (is average height, but extremely underweight--he is off the chart, actually). Worried. Blood results are consistently normal. No metabolic disorder, etc.

 I try to stuff him, Le Hub tries to stuff him... However, like the good doctor* said, you can take the horse to the well, but you can't force it down its throat. Or take a Little to a lobster/dolphin steak/chocolate-coated cockroach/rice cereal.

Especially if the Little uses his newly acquired teeth as a firm, tightly clenched gate that not an ounce of food can pass.

 *they are always GOOD DOCTORS if they are highly qualified but humble old men; sweet, short, bald, with a concerned furrowed brow. And especially if they furnish their office with their own oil paintings, Renoir prints, cuckoo clocks, and a portrait of Princess Diana goofing around with children.

 

Blood tests

Eid was awesome. Besides the blood test bit.

I don't understand what it is about blood tests for babies. My son has low weight for his age and height, so we often have to take him for testing. Every single time, bar one, we have had to get it done, the execution is exceptionally horrid. (Or unexceptionally. It's startling when they get it right).

Yesterday, we took him to the Sick Kids hospital. 

Blood test consisted of lady poking him with a needle, pushing it in, blood coming out like hardened treacle, and Not Going Into the Vial. 

So for what seemed like a century, the lady is standing there trying her utmost not to curse, stressed face. Meanwhile I'm holding the wailing, desperately frightened baby down, and hubby is holding his phone above baby's head, playing a Wiggles episode to distract him. (Run on sentence, but mid-rant I can't be bothered to edit.)

We were Five Minutes in before the lady asked me to push the red help button. 

I know the timing for a fact, mayhaps off by a minute and several seconds, because this Wiggles episode is on youtube, called counting, and we were nearing the end of the Captain Feathersword song, which is at the five min mark.

Second lady comes in, tells first one she had the needle in wrong spot (all the while baby is going purple and screaming in pain/fright). I also noticed she had to readjust the tube (the little wire thingy was on wrong!!). Reinserts to correct spot. Blood fills the tube. Baby crying. 

Second lady tells me to hold tissue down on a specific spot on baby's arm, which I do. She moves away. I am holding it where she had put it.

 Baby crying. Several minutes of me trying in vain to sing songs and soothe him. No movement of tissue aside from holding it down.

Turns out the lady had put the tissue paper in the WRONG SPOT and blood was still spurting onto the table!! Streams. Hubby swears. 

Second lady in an attempt to protect her job, we later decided, berated ME for 'not pressing it down' (which I assure you I did-not my fault she put it in wrong spot!) while I wash baby and myself off. Neither of them put a band aid on him, helped us in any way, nothing. 

Blood also got onto my coat so I have proof.

Incompetent staff? Inadequate training? 

Have been to Life Labs previous times, and had a lady take several vials before deciding she hadn't done the job correctly and needed to take several more. Eight total. (Remember, we are talking about a little baby, who doesn't realize what is happening, or why, only that it hurts and feels wrong. For many adults, even getting one vial is a big deal)

Many more incidents to recount.

Ze Inaugural Post

So this blog is starting off on a good note, as my little one is cooing gurgling and laughing in the background. Is there a sweeter sound than waking up to a content, happy, little baby's coos and laughs? Perhaps only to be surpassed by rising in one's marble palace, to a medley of soft flutes/harps as the dawn rays shine on your face, whilst being fanned by peacock feathers by servants dressed in russet gold (to match the sunrise).

  It's only 5 AM but the baby is boss! And he chooses to adhere to the adage "early to bed, early to rise." Babies, number one cause for rise in concealer sales.

There are a couple of floral paintings hanging on the wall in front of me. These he can spend a wonderfully long time (from a mother's perspective) "chatting" to with enthusiasm.

Oh by the way, the blog name refers to both my favourite dessert (pateesa) and one of the nicknames that Littlest has gained. Because he's sweet as a pateesa!

For those who haven't tried (speaking to tumbleweed and crickets here), pateesa is a fantastic South asian version of cotton candy. (There's another one called "BURYA KE BAAL" aka "old ladies' hair, but I don't like that. You won't either, Tumbleweed. It's white and nasty looking, sharpishly-sweet, lacks the powdery softness of pateesa).

 Very sweet, light as air, very naughty to finish a whole box of in one go (as i have...often).

Shall I upload a pic? Here it is.

Now then. Is that a good way to end a post?

Blogs are a fab way to share ideas & recommendations, and hook up with like-minded fellows n fellowesses, so lemme throw in a couple of book recommendations. Used to be a voracious reader, but now not so much (Perfection Personified takes up so much of my time!)

-Stephen Leacock's books (pick any). CLASSY CANADIAN COMEDY
-Jerome K Jerome - Three Men in A Boat

They are both light-hearted reads I have loved and come back to yr after yr, whenever I'm in the need of a giggle. Have often woken up irate fellow passengers on flights, laughing like a rabid hyena, at every other passage these contain.

You may like. Available for free on iBooks, too!