Resist the Change! aka Reformulations SUCK

If you'll allow me to moan for a minute....I really must complain about Rouge Dior lipsticks.

I don't know whether this is justified, perhaps they spoilt me with the incredible, luxe "Haute Couleur" (sp?) version of the Rouge Diors. Now THOSE...those were the business. The best lipstick formula, for my taste. The lipstick by which I judged all other lipsticks.

(Volumizing because it hydrated the lips SO so well, almost a treatment rather than a cosmetic. Long-lasting, rich satin-y colour in one swipe. I sound like an ad, I don't know how else to explain it though.)

I love them all but had a Holy Grail in that line, 976, "Prune Daisy," although I slipped and call it "Plum Daisy" whenever anyone asked me what that AMAZING lipstick I had on was. Glorious, luscious, plummy-rosy-amazement, is how I would describe it.
A seemingly cool colour, but with miniscule flecks of gold that meant it could swing either way.
This microshimmer, twas very discernible from Granny Frost.
It looked more like plush satin. The most distinguished, rich, invigorating colour against the backdrop of bleak winter.

People often wear red in winter, but this was less predictable and somehow more wearable. Literally swipe and go, despite the depth of colour.
It made me feel like an evil Narnian witch, alerting bunny rabbits and beavers everywhere: "Don't dare tempt this woman to transform you into an ice statue, with which to festoon her marble halls" etc.

I remember any time I felt really down, Vit D deficient probably, I would "pull myself together" and put it on.
 Literally, that number, 976, was embedded in my memory, in case the day would ever come when I would have to replace it. As it has.

The packaging has changed, cheapened to be clear. This makes me sad. Some would say not to judge by its packaging, but alas, in this case, it is an indicator of worse to come...

The formula has been messed with.

Is nothing sacred? It does not glide on smoothly as before. Therefore, does not apply AS evenly, it is a bit patchy in coverage, you have to go over it more than once.

 It does not moisturize as before. Not as rich/nourishing in texture.
Lips feel parched and crinkly after a while, it dries them out considerably, something the old version wouldn't dream of doing.

It is not even long-wearing, it fades perceptibly from the center right away, a fatal flaw, considering the depth of colour.

To be fair, it is quite a good lipstick in its own right. The colour is still beautiful, although I will point out that the microshimmer does not sit as well in this formula. There is no sort of moisturizing, richness, to soften the shimmer. I still wear it. I just need to be very careful, whereas before I could pop it on, and be assured it would look good for ages without a do-over. To be fair, Revlon Pink Truffle layered underneath, makes it close in wear time and feel to the old formula, so I guess I'll stick with that.

Sigh.

Moving on. The pathetic Rouge Dior "lip blushes." C'mon, the name itself is so..."we're trying to make the most of something that sucks, and hope you fall for it." A conman's dream.

 I own two, Trench and Grege 1947 (Pak sar zameen shad baad... watan ki mitti gawah rehnaaaaa..etc. I kid, I realize Dior doesn't care about Pakistan's independence day and the number is a coincidence...)

Trench is a cute peachy-beige shade, the closest match I could find to my beloved Anna Sui 701. It applies sheerly, so my pigmented lip colour shows through. Thus, tis darker on the lips than the Anna Sui, which is fine, variety being the cinnamon bun of life.

However! It lasts about as long as it takes to tell a bad joke, and flees at the punchline! 'ello? Ou est vous?

As for Grege...I despise this so much. I REALLY REALLY wanted to like it. But bare lips are preferable to this.

Not too moisturizing; adequate but not even close to, say, my Clinique Superbalm Gloss (which seems to truly heal lips within an hour). I feel my lips drying out beneath the layer of matte-looking grease that this imparts.

 If you apply once it looks exactly the same as any cheap tinted lip balm in a similar shade may. (I swear, the Essence lipsticks, which cost 2.99 at Shoppers Drug Mart, are the same formula, and just a pinch less pigmented. In fact, the shade All About Cupcake makes a great dupe for Rouge Dior in Swan.)

If you build it up, say one or two more swipes-it gets this slippy slidey thing going on where the lips have this gross imprint of when you press them together.
Even inexpensive lip products seldom have this problem. The Revlon lip butters certainly don't.

The colour is the EPITOME of blergh. I honestly cannot imagine recommending this shade to anybody. It is...ugly. Try-too-hard neutral that just sucks the life out of my natural lip colour showing through. Perhaps in a different formula it would've fared better, less sheer, perhaps. This just looks like I am trying to hard to be work appropriate. It is ugly. Looks CHEAP.

  Luckily, then, wear time is 1.5 hours if you do not engage in any sort of activity, conversational even, but just sit in a little cubicle typing out Mr Howard's bills all day. It was made for the loneliest office worker alive. As long as they don't exceed their permitted quota of four smiles. (Five on Valentine's).
 

Because I love you

Because my love for you is true, here are a few things of which I wish to whisper to you...


~Glycerin (cheap!) added into any body moisturizer/face cream DOUBLES, TRIPLES, the moisture-boosting-powers. Try it. Mix it into steeped green tea, or plain water for a good spritzer that is just as good as MAC Fix+. Just store in fridge and remember to throw it out every two weeks to avoid bacteria growth.

My personal mix: I steeped (organic...dunno why that's important for topical application. It FEELS important) lavender/chamomile tea and green tea...added witch hazel, 1/2 tspn glycerin, a bit more water, shook it up, et voila!

So lonngggg, sucker

~Zoe Foster, my inspiration as a teenager, author of many a beauty article and chick lit book, has come out with a great app for your iPhone. It's called "AMAZING FACE." Sounds promising.

 I love it and highly recommend it. It cost me $3.99. A fun and useful little doohickey.
 Contains basic info and tips that are handy to cart around. E.G. things to say at the hairdresser's.
 Has little video and picture tutorials for a myriad of basic beauty routines, like a textured updo, a long-lasting red lip, etc.
 THE BEST PART: it gives you lists of key items you should have for your bathroom cupcoard, car, purse, etc.
And you can store lists of key items in your kit, as well as stuff you want to get. A shopping list, so you don't forget under the disorienting, gleaming lights of Holt Renfrew. It's perfect especially for beauty beginners, so do tell your mother, friend, niece, about it.

Here is Zoe Foster, backing up her Amazing Face claims with her very own, amazing face :)

~The perfect nude lip. Found.

 "THEY" (magazines, beauty editors) say:
Check the COLOUR of your GUMS. DO IT. YOU LOOK LIKE A SNARLING WOLF, WHAT OF IT? Now...match that tone.

I say: Sacre bleu! That idiotic snarl in the mirror showed me only that my gums that are pinky-red veering on pastel pink. And yet.
No pinky nude lip suits me.
GOSH Darling (waste of  $13) was the last to prove this.
Perhaps I wasn't made for nude lips!
Perhaps my lips be too red, my nose too bulbous, my frown too grim.

THEY say: TRY AGAIN. NUDE LIPS ARE UNIVERSAL. THEY REIGN ETERNAL.

I say: No. No. No again! No. -tossing aside lipsticks- Ooh. Wait a sec.
Hell-looo J Lo! Goll-ly!

THEY SAY: SEE? WE TOLD YOU.

I say: I look well-slept. Refreshed. Polished but not overdone.

THEY SAY: SO WHAT WAS IT? Your perfect nude lipstick...what IS it?

I say: Anna Sui.
(crowd gasps)
Yes, indeed, Anna Sui. Shade 701.

THEY SAY: Eh?? Does that brand even MAKE lipsticks? Isn't it all overpriced, faux-goth plastic-coated trash, for rich little girls?

I say: They do make lipsticks and they are great. I shall ignore your other comments as I, and Anna, are above them.

You need a good balm beforehand if you have flakes but otherwise, these are quite moisturizing. The finish is almost jelly-like. It gives sheer coverage, which is key I think, so your natural colour still shows through. You can build it up to almost complete opacity. It looks yummy. Needs reapplication after a few hours, but what of it? So do the YSL Rouge Voluptes.
 It is just pigmented enough without being too MAC-Myth-ish.

They say: Can you back that up with a photo?

I say: I can, although this was taken when I was SICK, little sleep, the usual. I have since purchased Anna Sui 303 which is the sweetest subtly-brightening pink one can imagine, and am completely enamoured with her whole lipstick line. They carry a black lipstick, didja know??

They say: Ahem.

I say: Ah. Yes. Here ya go.

Before--au naturel lips. (That flattering, subtle gleam upon my lids, is Dior Rosy Tan)

After: Anna Sui 701 with a bit of Elizabeth Arden Sugared Kiss lip liner at edges blended inwards....

THEY SAY: GOB...smacked.