The Epidemic of Frightening Eid Makeup aka Step Away from the Kohl

Eid Mubarak in advance, to those who chose, over a night of sensible sleep, to devour beauty tips from that most qualified (have you SEEN her? -whistles-)  of beauties, and bonniest of lasses, also known as...well my modesty prevents me from saying but mayhaps your keen eye hath detected she whom my humble tongue doth flail at mentioning? 

Blah. Anyway- Mubarak and a hearty raising of the cup (Rooh Afza, ma)! Now, onto a matter of the greatest urgency!

What-quoi-will you wear to your Eid bonanza? Makeup-wise, of course. Because everything else is non-negotiable.

Look- le dress, will be ostentatious as a conman's mansion, non?

 Le jewels, yours and your cousin's, they shall be winking lasvicsiously at each other from across the table, sensing an impending entanglement when you two sally forth to do the Eid Embrace.

Le hair, it shall be DONE-a-roo, as they say in Australia. (Crocodile Done-dee.)

Le heels-they shall be kindly lending you an extra 5 inches so as to compound the discomfort that glamour requires.

So why-why-why-nande- tread the territory of Overdone Aunt on the Prowl, and INSIST on heavy makeup too?

Do you really want a tri-coloured smokey, poorly applied falsies, to top off the towering, dangerously swaying, off-centered wedding cake, that will be your Eid Look? Enough to put your loved ones through the strain of suppressing their grimaces, as the Look deteriorates over the course of a meal? 

"Wabi sabi, dear. It's all the rage. Do pass the wasabi," she smiled brightly. It would be a rather fetching smile too, if it hadn't revealed the blood-red lipstick coating her front two teeth.

 If you spray on perfume like an Arab sheikha would, about to head out to a club with her doting but unsuspecting dad's credit card, well then-the effect will be deadly. Repulsive as pest spray, but without the benefit of warding off mosquitoes. And no-tis not always desirable to be a knockout. 

(My point, which I shall get to, as I most certainly plan on it, and it shall ensue, and come forth, within a moment if not sooner, the point that is, what else but.)

Look- a friendly suggestion. For your makeup at least, do something mild, not major. 

A soft bronze or taupe eye, perhaps, or just a winged liner instead of KOHL EVERYWHERE. A subtle wash of interesting colour as opposed to a muddied rainbow. One product for lips instead of a gruesome monstrosity of dark liner/pale lipstick/thick gloss.

 Don't worry about the bright festive colours and Rooh Afzah stains detracting from a pared back face. They won't drown it out and you still have room for fun. 

Sans three sets of crusty false lashes, cakey foundation, glittery cheekbones, smeared fuchsia lips. The children will thank you.

I'm going for Lush Sophisticated cream shadow with Pupa Luminys 401 for the crease. Soft taupes.
 Tight lining and mascara, sheer cream blush, and soft pink lips. Still unsure as to what attire to don, but this refined palette will most definitely go with anything.

P.S.

If desi, plz keep this in mind as a rough guide to life: DON'T. DO. PAINDOO.

The only paindoos I'm cool with are the genuine ones. You know, with DON'T JALLUS painted in chilling Goosebumps font, on the back of their taxis/rickshaws/automotive transportation device.
They tend to see life in technicolor through holographic red/lime green goggles, and all is forgiven and even...appreciated.